Monday, November 10, 2008

Air kissing

Uh oh! Another girl! Now, what was her name? Christina, was it? Or was it Chrisann?  Damn! She has recognized me. She is smiling and walking towards me. I look to my right and my left. Maybe, just maybe, she just will just walk by me and I won’t end up making a fool of myself.

She is 10 feet away. I am prepared to give her one of my fake recognition smile. Maybe it won’t be so bad. I could steer the conversation away from her name, talk about the weather, kill time and wait for Panda to come and save my ass, again.

It gets worse. She is positively happy after seeing me and has broken into a run to greet me.

Now my mind starts thinking. Smile or a handshake? Handshake or a smile? Maybe both, I finally decide.

I could have never predicted what was to happen next. She stopped right next to me, brushed her cheeks against mine, made a ‘mwah’ sound and gave the air next to my ear a hard on.

My advice to fellow friends

  • Take your stomach in
  • Ensure chest avoids all possible contact with breasts(or vice versa)
  • Decide where hands should be kept, on her back or on her waist. Never, never leave your hands on either side.
  • Don’t breathe, unless of course you want your nose to be flooded with the latest in ladies perfume 
And if you are really comfortable doing an air-kiss, you can always tilt your face slightly to show the other cheek.

Panda did save my ass, eventually. He walked up, and she introduced herself. Dodged that bullet.


Vivek Menon said...

hehehe..had to learn air kissing in denmark...Now a semi pro..Air kissing is accompanied by half a hug...right shoulder to left shoulder...and comeon.Some of that perfume is niceeeeee...

Sandeep Pillai said...

Partners in crime?? haha.. That was an interesting read. Been real long.

Heathcliffs Girl said...

what is wrong with our perfume